Be independent.
Here’s how to live: Be independent.
All misery comes from dependency.
If you weren’t dependent on income, people, or technology, you would be truly free.
The only way to be deeply happy is to break all dependencies.
Most problems are interpersonal.
To be part of society is to lose a part of yourself.
Cut ties with society.
Don’t engage.
Don’t even rebel, because that’s reacting.
Instead, do what you’d do if you were the only person on Earth.
People think we live in a world of politics, society, norms, and news.
But none of it is real.
They’re just interpersonal drama.
They’re the noisy waste product of unhealthy minds.
Crowds are hysterical, and inbreed opinions.
Don’t be a part of any group.
Don’t take sides on any fight.
Instead of standing out from the crowd, just avoid and ignore the crowd.
Avoid social media and the zeitgeist.
Its stupidity will infect you.
Don’t align with any religion, philosophy, or political stance.
Stay unlabeled and unbound.
Rules and norms were created by the upper class to protect their privilege — to categorize people into high versus low society.
None of it applies to you.
Long ago, people had to follow norms to have high social status, otherwise they’d be ostracized and couldn’t survive.
But now you can survive, mate, and thrive without social status.
So it’s both irrational and unwise to follow those norms.
Dogs bark.
People speak.
It doesn’t mean a thing.
What they say and do has nothing to do with you, even if it seems directed your way.
The only opinion that matters is your own.
When you know what you’re doing, you won’t care what anyone else is doing.
When you’re indifferent to people’s words and actions, nobody can affect you.
Don’t believe anything anyone says.
Listen if you want, but always decide for yourself.
Never agree with anything the same day you hear it, because some ideas are persuasively hypnotic.
Wait a few days to decide what you really think.
Don’t let ideas into your head or heart without your permission.
Being independent means you can’t blame others.
Decide everything is your fault.
Whoever you blame has power over you, so blame only yourself.
When you blame your location, culture, race, or history, you’re abdicating your autonomy.
Everyone has their own lives to manage.
Nobody is responsible for you, and you aren’t responsible for anybody.
You don’t owe anyone anything.
Friends are great at the right distance.
Just like you can’t read something if it’s pushed up against your face, or too far away, you should keep your friends at arm’s length — close but not too close.
Have more than one romantic partner, or none.
To avoid emotional dependence, never have just one.
Don’t worry about being lonely.
Nothing is more lonely than being with the wrong person.
It’s always better to be alone.
You can’t be free without self-mastery.
Your past indulgences and habits might be addictions.
Quit a harmless habit for a month, just to prove you can.
When you say you want more freedom from the world, you may just need freedom from your past self.
You don’t see things as they are.
You see them as you are.
Change yourself and you change the world.
Learn the skills you need to be self-reliant.
Learn to drive, fly, sail, garden, fish, and camp.
Learn emergency medical and disaster preparedness.
Assume nobody will help you.
Don’t depend on any company, especially not the big tech giants.
Use only open-source software and open communication protocols.
Keep your own backups.
Get your own domain.
Run your own server.
Live where you feel most free.
Move symbolically far away from where you grew up.
Living in a foreign place helps make it clear that this culture’s rules don’t apply to you.
The best place for self-reliance is a rural off-the-grid home.
Generate your own electricity.
Collect your own water.
Grow your own food.
Or have no home at all.
When you have no home, the whole world is your home.
Be a nomadic minimalist to break dependencies on stuff.
Our hunter-gatherer ancestors thrived by carrying nothing, then finding or making what they needed.
Be a perpetual traveler, living out of a suitcase.
Move to a new country every few months, never a registered resident of anywhere.
Spread the different aspects of your life across different countries to avoid depending on any one country.
Earn multiple passports.
If a country enters into war or makes your life hard, just leave.
To be nomadic is to be a pacifist.
Make friends wherever you go, so that no one place has all of your friends.
Own your own business with many small customers to avoid depending on any big client.
Offer products, not a personal service, so your business can run without you.
Create many sources of income like this.
Don’t sign contracts.
Be willing to walk away from anything.
Eventually, you will have done it.
You’ll be absolutely free and independent.
It’s the ultimate liberation.
Then you can appreciate everything from a healthy distance.
You can appreciate your country from abroad, once it’s not your only option.
You can appreciate family, once they’re not forced upon you.
You can laugh at the hysteria of the crowd, and learn from it too.
You can take sides in a fight, with a smirk.
You can even take responsibility for someone else.
Being fully independent is how to live.
That was great. I will have to read it again a few times.
It takes on a whole new life listening to you speak it. Thank you.
Powerful. Freedom suits you! You have great inflection and feeling in your voice. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
LOVE this! Thank you Derek.
Derek Hearing your voice reading each chapter is the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae for the 7r old at his bowling alley birthday party that is this already amazing book. For those of us who love your work, it's extra special. THANK YOU!
Absolutely brilliant! We all could be more sovereign. It starts with the mind, not letting it be hijacked by others.
I am sharing this with my 22 year old son, who has been following a lot of this philosophy himself. He left home at 19 and is fully self reliant. He went against the norm of all his friends and chose to not finish college, and instead, start a business. He is happy.
I’ve only been happy when I depend on God to guide my day.
Thank you for making this available and free worldwide! I ordered my physical copy because it's so worth it. Thanks Sir Derek!
Thank you Derek for making this free and available to all of us, such an amazing gift to the world.
Try as one might, it is impossible not to have a point of view, and points of view are personal and different by definition. I can imagine that someone in a paternalistic country like China, say, would have a much harder time contemplating what you are proposing here, Derek. We have to acknowledge our luck in being born in countries that are affluent and value personal expression and independence of mind. Your opening statement is utopian. Who doesn’t want to be free of life’s travails and taxes? However, become seriously ill and you will certainly need money (income, savings, a loan, or welfare), people (medics and nurses), and technology (medicine, surgery) to save you from dying! I agree that breaking dependencies, and being as self-reliant as one can, is a source of personal happiness (satisfaction). But I also know that connectedness, to those we love and care about and who love and care for us is also most important. I am speaking as a bereaved person who has lost all physical connection with their soulmate. I agree with your sentiment of living in full independence, but in practice it can lead to death (literally). Humans are sociable animals, needing connection. I wonder about those volunteers for a Mars mission where they won’t be coming back! Be careful what you wish for…
Human beings are inherently social creatures. From the cradle to the grave, our lives are intertwined with those of others. While the pursuit of independence is noble, interdependence allows us to share burdens, celebrate joys, and achieve goals that would be unattainable alone. The support systems we build through relationships can act as safety nets, providing emotional, intellectual, and even physical support that enhances our capacity to navigate life's challenges.
i disagree.someone's gotta fight the good fight in the trenches.
#beannoying #rogueartist
Thanks for your thoughts, Derek! Nicely written.
I will obviously have to sleep through each statement before deciding what is right for myself.
If I let "Dogs bark. People speak. It doesn’t mean a thing." be just one message, then there are 100 messages to sleep over right there. I'm already in my 50's... so I will have to really prioritise -- or sleep more often! ;)
All the best!
In the process of socialization, I developed dependencies, a sense of comparison, and experienced fear and pain. How can I let go of my dependencies? Perhaps through daily practices like exercise to gradually let go?
This is great, something I will have to revisit now and again.
You always make me reflect. Thanks, Derek!